Let's
talk about breasts, shall we? Especially
about breasts, bras and teenagers.
There's
your daughter, a cute little wide eyed ball of fluff, running about: stick-like or podgy or just-right. She's
everybody's pet, ruling the house in that cute little singlet and shorts. All
of a sudden, puberty strikes. Usually without warning. It could be as early as
7 or as late as 15 and the entire range is considered perfectly normal.
All
of a sudden, your little girl is not so little anymore. Even before you know
it, she starts to feel conscious about her changing body shape, those budding
breasts and specially the fact that boys their age seem to constantly talk to
their chests. Some men too. She looks around at school, is she the only one?
She finds company in her peers. Sometimes she feels accepted, at other times, inadequate. In fact a range
of emotions race through your little girl; a lot of it body-shaming. Or
not. Your little girl, in fact, is, as
yet, a long way from accepting that her breasts are just another part of her
body, much like an arm or a leg and nothing to write home about!
So
what should you, as a parent do?
Yes,
talk to her. In all likelihood she knows about the periods business or have
been through it already. Make sure she knows the right things: the biological
and physiological aspects. Do not tell her that she is dirty and not cannot
enter the puja room and the kitchen and henceforth should any man touch her,
she will have babies! I actually know a mother who said that. And also another
who thought 8 years old was no age for the child to be starting her chums so
actually went to the doctor to put the child on hormones to "delay the
process"!!!!
You
do NOT fool around with nature. That is the only rule there is.
And
the next thing, take her to a good bra shop. There are tons of them now.
Shoppers Stop, Pantaloons and Westside have good lingerie sections, in fact.
There are those stand-alone lingerie shops too. There are helpful young lady shop
assistants who will be willing to let your little lady try on several sizes and
styles for size. I mean it. In our time, budding breasts meant my grandmother
made us a inner which was much like a sleeveless blouse and you wore it under
your clothes. It kept things in place and did not let the nipple show. Now you
have your choice of sports bras right from size XXS to do the needful.
I remembering
bra buying in my youth. It was a horror. We had to go to this clothing store
which was manned by men. My mother would accompany us and announce she needed
bras and proceed to select three different sizes while we cringed in the
corner. Next, my mom would squeeze into that tiny cubicle pretending to be a
trial room with us and teach us how to adjust the straps to find out which fit
best. No, we had no choice. We had white or black pointy cotton thingies with
adjustable straps that kept peeping out from under our clothes...what a mess
that was!
Thankfully,
times have changed. As I said, now you have a variety of choices in cotton or
nylon or lycra or under-wired or padded in all colours, shapes and sizes. Just
make sure that the first time you go out there and get that girl something that
will not only fit her but make her comfortable and help her keep her posture
straight.
I don't
know if I am the only one who notices but my attention gets dragged to women or
girls in several spheres of life who I find wearing ill fitting innerwear. One
is bouncing, (much to the delight of the men watching her run across the street
trying to catch that cab) one is squashed flat. Another is just halfway down
her stomach while yet another has spread out like a tree. Imagine what this can
do for their body images, imagine all the wrong kind of attention they
attract!
You'll
notice, young girls , specially teens often begin to slouch. One reason is when
they are taller than their friends, they tend to bend a bit. They should
absolutely be told to sit up straight and be proud about their height.
Sadly,
another lot of children develop slouches. They are the ones ashamed of their
breasts. Someone probably spoke to her and made her feel uncomfortable, she's
not sure what it is but something does not feel right, so she hunches her shoulders and pretends she
is flat. This is where you, as a parent come in . Talk to her gently, do buy
her a good supportive bra. Ensure she walks with her shoulders straight and
head up; poised, like the confident woman of the world she is meant to become.
Not an unsure little girl with bad body posture.
It's a little thing, but it makes all the
difference.
As I
end here, I must admit I am not a specialist of any kind. I'm just a woman who
was once a young girl who was often, like many other women on the streets on
India, subject to jibes on account of her budding breasts. Sadly, I also
believe that there is no imminent revolution that will change the way men or
boys on or off the streets will see our
young girls. I just want to help them get a bit of confidence so that they can
walk with their head up and meet the world head on.... like it's meant to be
met!
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