Thursday, February 11, 2010
Theres this huge structure that lights up a mute shade of jade and in the light reflecting off it, fireflies glow a gentle golden...the wind whips up dust and on the crossroad stands the poet who made the place famous...also the custodian of the place. As our car passes we see him and his expression is kindly but grim. He is a big man with long hair that curls around his face as the dust blows. It is dark and cloudy and looks like rain and I want to stop the car and talk to him and maybe say something intelligent but the car will not stop the words will not come for my mouth is full of dust....I turn back and I am at my childhood home , only it is unkempt and wild, banyan trees have grown roots and the place hisses at me in the dark. But I know I have to go for there further inside, the lantern glows and I know my father waits for me...patiently. Someone taps me on the shoulder and I fall into my lover's arms...strong and safe and we are falling and free-falling and then flying through the air in each others arms and I am warm and naked and he whispers that he has been waiting forever and I want to reply but I cannot for the words will not come and it is an effort to speak and the wind blows the sea breeze in my face and I find I am alone on a rock and I scream into the wind that this is not what I want......but Isha turns and says,"..but you have to help me, Ma." and I run to catch her and hold her in my arms but then this door opens and I am in a wide chamber where the only light comes from a candle lit in a corner and this huge dark man has his back to me and I somehow know he waits for me so I approach cautiously, careful not to make a sound ...but he hears my footstep and turns...and I wake up screaming...and find myself looking at my alarm that rings me to safety.