As I said, I'm a very private person. Yet today I went to my email contacts and informed some (not the entire address book, no way!)people I consider close to me to check out this blog....so am I gearing up to open my heart for the world to see or am I just pushing the limits of my own self worth? Whatever, in the end each poet, each songwriter, each author is in his or her own way, a Narcissist. Otherwise would we be able to emote about ourselves so eloquently...delve into the depths of our despair and bring out a heartfelt outpouring as if words were created only to fan and give a voice to our emotions? Sometimes I want to laugh. Once in a while I see the larger picture and I see myself, small and unimportant, it's hard to suppress a giggle and at other times, its just me and me and me. Then I'm larger than life and all my hurt and angst, real and imagined, cease to limit itself within the limits of normalcy. Recently something happened which I really smarted about...spent a while moping and howling at the moon and pleading and groveling and feeling sorry for myself. But I know it's enough. I've done enough. And now it's time to pick up the pieces and move on.... And as Baba would have put it, "..this is not the end of the world."
A cold grey world
a reddish glow to the Eastern sky
the morning song of the koel
a caress from the waiting breeze
and another day is in my hands
another day to love and hold
another day to live in hope
the promise of another day,
another life, another world....
My thoughts drift in like roving clouds
scattered across the morning skies
all my words, all my doubts
still unspoken for this day.
I need the torture of your love
I need the vanity of your taking
I need the chains you bind me in
I need your loving lies of hope.
Just now it's only the sun and I
trembling I wait, for this is mine
the world awakes...as to my touch
for a moment - one brief moment-
I can pretend I'm indispensable!