Occupational hazard

I am, as you all know, an Advocate. Practicing in the Honorable High Court at Calcutta. So every morning I am dented and painted and I make my way to the Court. Once there, I am quite serious. My hair is severely pulled back, I do not smile much, (there's very little to smile about, anyway) growl at strangers and even manage to frighten myself.  And of course I go about my work with all the sincerity I can muster and you can even see me rushing from place to place like I am the busiest lawyer on the planet.

But don't  let it fool you. 

I am also a whimsical blogger and part time writer and a lot of my literary or poetic endeavors are composed in my spare time in Court at the Bar Library Club where you will often find me sitting in my corner pecking away at my laptop save for when I am laughing with my friends or eating hot samosas or drinking endless cups of coffee. Yes, I keep myself busy.

I am also the homemaker, whatever that means, exactly. I have decided it means short order cook, driver, maid, cleaner, washing machine, you know, the works. I do all this with an efficiency that I never knew existed inside me. 

But then above all this, I am a mother. A dubious distinction to say the least!

So this morning after the kids had been bundled off to school here I was, dented-painted, suited-booted, mind full of all the balderdash for the day, wondering if I could seriously pull it off....ready for another hectic day at Court when I got a call from the school. Would I kindly send a car for my elder daughter who is unwell? Naturally I waited till she came home. Naturally I stayed home after she came because she has a severely upset stomach and tummy ache and has been to the loo four times since morning! Now, four spoons of mashed raw banana which I had to really coax her into, one glass of nimbu paani and another visit to the loo later, she has fallen asleep. 

"Aww, poor child," you say? 

I can only pull a face and submit: there's nothing 'poor' about that one, believe you me!

In this house we have two vacuum cleaners. They are magical. They do not look like vacuum cleaners and may be found anywhere in the house but are most likely sprawled on the sofa in front of the TV. They leave the whole house, particularly the areas designated to them, a complete mess. Books everywhere, paper on the floor, dust where there shouldn't be any, sticky glue in the most unexpected places and crumbs on the sofa. 

But they clean out the food from the larder and the fridge. Nothing survives their powerful suctioning skills. No matter how far behind the veggies you hide the chocolates or the sweets or the cheese, they have a special homing button that allows them to clear it in a trice! So do not look for left overs of that yummy Chinese we had two nights ago, or the pizza, or the cheesecake, or the ham, not even that home made keema curry.... one fell swoop and whoosh, it's gone!

Oh, you'll be forgiven for looking at my fridge and thinking it's full of cheese, chocolates and ice cream. Those are just the empty boxes. These vacuum cleaners are so good that they suction the food right out of the box or container and leave the box intact until one day, muttering under my breath I have to throw them out! Yeah, you guessed right, these magical machines do have names: Isha and Amisha.
So this morning while packing lunch for Court, I was looking for that little box of sweets where last night I know I had kept some Kaju Barfis for our tiffin. I found it alright, but it was empty. I sighed and packed something else. But then just before she fell asleep on my bed half an hour ago, I sha admitted she had eaten them. "All of them?" I asked, aghast. These things are full of cashews, heavy and rich. "Um," she smiled happily, "it was so tasty, I had all six after you went to bed last night...."

And here I am missing Court, not doing all the work I was supposed to do nursing a sick child with cramps and a runny tummy. 

I rest my case.