Today, in the Kolkata edition of The
Telegraph, I came across a book review of a book called “The Good Indian’s
Guide to Queue Jumping” by one V. Raghunathan. It has been published by Harper
Collins, a renowned publishing house that is known to be fussy about the titles
it publishes. Now I have not read the book (nor can I genuinely say that I want
to) and I am certain Harper Collins has its reasons for publishing the book,
but what caught my eye was the title of the book: “The Good Indian’s Guide to
Queue Jumping.” Seriously?
But then it made me stop and think. Let’s
face it, queue jumping is a malady that affects us Indians, all the time. Be it
at the airport, the check-out line in the grocery store, the entrance to a
movie hall, even at the cash counter at the nursing home, we all seem to have
been afflicted with a strange case of “I want to be first.” I particularly
remember a trip abroad in my teens. While the whole world waited in queue at
Heathrow airport, this extra-large family of Indians tried to jump the queue
and was firmly put back in place by the grim faced officials. I saw the disgust
on their faces. And I saw them looking at all Indians with the same distaste.
And I felt sad because I wanted to scream that “No, all Indians are NOT like
that!” but no one would care. Times have thankfully changed however, nowadays
when you go abroad somehow you will find even Indians lining up, mostly
peacefully, some lesson has been learnt over the years, maybe some awareness
has come in? However, I have seen this too that the same family that stands in
queue everywhere in the world suddenly finds it impossible to stand in line in
our own country… does it have something to do with the climate or the air? I
wonder. Nowadays, again thankfully, people do speak up when someone breaks a queue.
I, in fact very loudly complain. Often I am told, rather condescendingly, “oh,
really, the line is there, why YOU go ahead,” as if that solves anything!!! But
I am helpless to change anything if the others behind me will not speak up.
Are you wondering why I am suddenly ranting
about queues today? Or what it has to do with parenting? It’s not just the
queue business. It’s basic decency. Holding a door open so that it will not
bang on the face of the person right behind you. Driving in your own lane so that
the person next to you will not be inconvenienced, listening to music on
earphones on a flight, refraining from talking loudly on the phone in a movie
hall, keeping the cell phone mute in a theatre, talking softly in a hospital,
smiling and saying thank you to the guy who helps you in the supermarket,
refraining from littering the street or spitting on the road, saying please to
the waiter who is serving you at the restaurant… there are so many things.
Somehow we rarely, or never seem to inculcate these.
And why? Because the bottom line is that in
general we do not care about the convenience/inconvenience of others, we live
in utter disregard to the other person, oblivious to their requirements or
rights. Yes, we are insensitive. Oh, you’re protesting, are you? I’m glad you
are, I’m glad I am irritating you because this needs to change. And who can
change this if not us and our children and their children after them? Now it’s
all very well for us to tell our children all this, maybe they will listen to you
and learn. But you know, experience has taught me children only learn what they
see. So the next time you feel like jumping the queue just because you are in a
hurry, stop. Your child is learning that it is okay to be selfish and
self-centered. The next time your feel like swerving into someone’s lane just
to get ahead three feet while completely blocking the car behind that wanted to
go left, restrain yourself. The next time the driver honks for no reason, in
fact, do tell him off. Just try to be sensitive. Try to think that the person
in the line ahead of you is equally busy and in as much as a hurry as you are.
Waiting will not be difficult. Learn patience, practice patience. And your
child will learn it too. Through you.
Let’s raise sensitive children. Children
who smile and say please and thank you and hold the door open and do not honk
needlessly because an older person is exiting the car in front of them and that
takes longer than usual. Let’s teach them that it is not okay to roll down the
car window and throw that empty packet of chips, that it is not okay to play
video games with a loud volume for it may disturb the person next to you, that
it is not okay to scream and shout and run about in a restaurant. Let’s raise
sensitive children, who will care, not only for themselves but for the people
around them and hopefully some of it will rub off on their friends too. Only
then will the world stop thinking of us as an insensitive population full of
queue jumpers.
