Friday, February 5, 2016

Not quite my day!

I was rushing that day but determined to see it through. You see, it had just been a few weeks since I returned to the profession after the birth of my two daughters and I was determined that neither hail nor storm would prevent me from reaching court that day as I had, not one, but two cases on the list. I was feeling confident and strong. I could win the world today, I thought!
As I approached the imposing red building I realised what was wrong. My contact lens was giving trouble. My right eye itched. First I rubbed one edge and then I rubbed the other. It made the itch go away but then the irritation was back. It felt like there was something in my eye. Inside the court room, as I waited for my matter to be called, the itchiness became worse. I went to the Ladies room and splashed water. The irritation kept coming back. Somehow I managed the first case without too much of a fuss. And I was waiting for the other one to be called when someone asked me if I had conjunctivitis. I then went back to the loo, took out the errant lens licked it and re-inserted it hoping that would help. I had read somewhere that saliva Is a good lubricant for contact lens! But it only made the eye drier than ever. I splashed more water on the eye which had, by now become a blazing red and was screaming for attention, resolved to ignore it and made my way back to court. I think I made it through ten minutes without rubbing that eye but then I blinked and realised I was blind in one eye. The lens had fallen out!
I gingerly raised my hand to my face and found the lens on my cheek. “Lucky,” I thought, “no one has noticed. I'll just run along to the loo...” Luckily, my eyesight is not that bad. I could more or less see and my left eye was working fine. But right then, I heard my case being called. In all the confusion, I had been inattentive to the list which was proceeding serially. Not knowing what else to do, I quickly popped the lens in my mouth.
"I appear for the petitioner," I responded to the judge. Only it sounded something like "yai yai yai por ai er."  Or something to that effect! Have you ever tried to talk with something as delicate as a contact lens gingerly balanced in your mouth? The judge looked at me askance. I pushed the lens to the relative safety (I thought) of a corner of my cheek and began my submissions. Obviously my words were not all that clear and I was half mumbling. In the crowded courtroom everyone was looking at me, laughing at me, I thought. I looked around and looked at the judge. "Mrs. Banerjee , are you, do you....?" She left the rest unsaid. "Yes, my Lord, I mean , no my Lord,” I declared, all my confidence shattered. And swallowed.
The errant lens was gone. I realised my mouth was empty.
I looked back up at the judge and completed my submissions. Needless to say, as soon as it was over I rushed home. My  day in Court was done for the day!

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