Monday, March 24, 2014

Term break, anyone?

The girls have finished their exams. They are now on what is known as a 'term break' which is basically a device designed by schools to justify every paisa they charge for keeping your children at school. Term break means there are no text books for the new year yet, hence no studies and you cannot scream at them to go sit and do something constructive (read study) for a change.
So what do the girls do during the term break? Why, they have so many options and each one is carefully crafted to make sure the mothers go stark raving mad!

  1. They eat. They eat the food that is in the fridge, they polish off the snacks and cheese and biscuits and cookies and leftovers and the supplies that were supposed to last you the entire month and when you return home they look petulantly and say, 'there's nothing to eat'. 
  2. They fall sick. After all that coke and chips and rubbish they have been stuffing themselves with, what do you expect? They groan around on the bed and complain of a tummy ache. The only known cure is to switch on the TV.
  3. They watch TV. Of course they watch TV. They have roots growing out of their backsides and into the sofa with tendrils reaching into the woodwork. They are rooted in front of that magical box. They eat and sleep and nap and do everything possible in front of the TV. Its like a new religion. Thank heavens we do not have a portable potty in the house! 
  4. They phone. Do not ever try to call our landline at home, it's always engaged. One girl or the other is constantly on the phone, sometimes two on simultaneous lines. They hang up and call again. The cordless is constantly discharged, the battery has  committed suicide. I do not know what they talk about but they talk to same person(s) over and over again. They must be slow in the head because they have to call the same friend at least six times to finally decide that they will meet for a swim at 11 am!                      
  5. They go out. Or, rather, they are constantly making plans to meet their friends. Whether its the club or a friend's house or somewhere else, they have absolutely no concern about whether the driver will be free or the car will be available. And no prizes for guessing who have to reschedule their lives to fit these in! 
  6. They play games. And it's not the Monopoly and Scrabble kind. Their favourite game is called "Let's get Ma." It goes something like this. They are sitting and calmly watching TV and gorging on food and leaving crumbs for the red ants on the sofa. Obviously since morning when I left the house, they have not found the time to take a shower or change. I enter. They see me and jump up. Soon they are in the two loos while I am standing cross legged outside one or the other begging them to hurry up. They turn on the shower. I'm afraid it is quite likely that my daughters account for half the world's water shortage. Each time they have a shower they also consume a whole bottle of shampoo, half a conditioner and one whole body gel. As they emerge leaving soap suds and water in their wake, you will be forgiven for thinking I live in a soap factory. If they are kind they will have made an attempt at mopping the floor. Then they barely wipe themselves. They chatter non stop about some stupid thing or the other. They pull on some clothes and sit on my bed with big water droplets running down their head and onto my bed knowing it irritates the hell out of me. When they know I cannot take anymore, they ask if they can watch TV. "Anything, anything," I mutter. "Just get out of here."
  7. They go online. Yes the wi-fi is perpetually on in the house. So is the computer, the ipod and the tablet. Along with the TV. My daughters are multi-taskers. They have the ability to screw up multiple things at the same time. With their heads full of all the nonsense they watch on TV combined  with the stupid comments on the social networking sites and the junk they watch on youtube, you are forgiven for thinking that glazed look they wear is drug induced! 
  8. Oh yeah,  they also sleep. Actually to be fair, Amisha sleeps. Isha loves to play her favourite game of "Let's get Ma" early in the morning by thumbing through the T2 in the morning BEFORE I have had a chance to extract my sudoku. Of course she has to know what her horoscope says and which celebrity is doing what at 7 in the morning!! Amisha? Well, that is another story. She sleeps. She sleeps through everything. Including several commands to get up. Even after you think you have succeeded in waking her because she is sitting slumped over her bowl of cereals, you can bet she is back in bed faster than you can say "good morning Amisha!" She does not wake up until her father shouts at her before we leave for Court or her friend calls. Whichever is earlier. Even then I suspect she just goes back to sleep before we are down the stairs! 
Ah. They joy of term break! I know, soon their school session will start and the little darlings will be back in school and slogging with their studies and books. They will again have to face the tough world of exams and be piled with oodles of homework and projects and all.
Aw, we should just let the poor babies be! 
You know what? 
I cant wait for their classes to start!